My new poem

We put our hearts into solitary confinement and lock our feelings away. We've bottled up our hope and saved it. And now, in this state of false security, we find ourselves blinded to our surroundings with the knowledge that there IS a light at the end of this eternally black tunnel of adversity; pressing on evermore though we may stumble and fall, we get back up again.

Things I'm working on

It's been a while since I've blogged (Is that the correct term?). Sooooo, here's an UPDATE!!
I just graduated!! :) So that's good. I haven't done much since I've been out of school. This week I've noticed a couple of things about myself. Well, things that I've known I might have to work on but they haven't become apparent until recently. (partially because of major freak out sessions, oops).
So, I've noticed that I have a lot of trouble with being patient. I've been babysitting recently and let me tell you, it has NOT been easy. You know how it is: One minute somebody is bleeding and needs a band-aid, and the next someone is extremely hungry. . .you get the point. I've found myself going crazy, running around trying to take care of everything at once.
I've babysat plenty of times in the past for different families, so it shouldn't be such a shock to me. And today I realized the reason why I feel so stressed out.
It might be because it's been a while since I've helped someone else out. I've been so focused on doing stuff for myself this year. So maybe I've lost a little bit of patience that I had. If that makes sense. . .So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to try to be patient during this week. It's going to be hard, but I think I can do it. :)

Funny things I've realized # 2

So I went onto facebook after I got home from mutual, and I have this newsfeed that shows me who's updated their status and such. And I looked at what some of my friends had put as their new status and I have to say that most of them were all SAD things! At first, I was shocked.
Then as I scanned through my brain trying to remember what I've put on my status, I realized that I post sad stuff a lot of the time!
Anyway, I don't know the exact direction I'm going with this, so this is just going to be a general "throw-up-my-thoughts-on-a-page" kind of deal.
I think we should all be more optimistic no matter what. I'm not perfect at it, but I'm starting to do a little better. And you know what? It totally helps!
Every time we have a hard work out for track, I tend to groan and complain throughout the whole thing. It doesn't make it any better. But recently I've found that whenever I am positive and ignore the pessimistic comments going on inside my head, then the work out goes a lot smoother, and I feel better about myself!
I know it seems a little surreal, but I promise you, if you try it, things won't seem as bad as they are.

Funny things I've realized #1

So I'm going to start a list and it is going to be of funny/cool/profound things I've realized (hence the title), whether I've realized it over the past couple of days, or months or whatever. Here is the first one!
I've realized that life is so delicate and short. We think we have plenty of time to get things done and then BOOM! The next day is already here.
For example, when I was a freshman, I always thought,"aww, man! Senior year is SO far away."
But, BOOM! Senior year is already HERE.

So what am I going to do about it?
Before I tell you, let me segway a little. This year I've been stressing out SO much over the TINIEST things. I mean, what can I say, I'm a very. . .emotional person. Which is sometimes good, but most of the time it is well, bad. I mean, I've gotta learn how to calm down a bit or else I'll have gray hair or an ulcer by the time I'm twenty! (EWW, gross, I know.) Billions of people tell me that I'm way too hard on myself and I need to relax, and even though I know they're right, I don't do anything about it...
But today, I was listening to a song on the internet, and as I listened to the words, I realized that I don't think I make enough time for myself to relax and actually do the things I love. I need to make my senior year MEMORABLE. I need to be crazy and impulsive and make the most of this year that is the ending, but also the beginning. I need to live like I'm going to die tomorrow.
Does that make sense? I hope I don't sound crazy. So, I'll get off my soap box until next time. Hopefully tomorrow.
Btw, the song I was listening to is "live like we're dying" by Kris Allen, just in case you were curious. It's a good song. So listen to it if you haven't heard it already ;)

So, today I was freaking out! I was in math, and my teacher had graded our midterms and was handing them back to us. When I looked at my scantron I was so horrified that I almost started to hyperventilate. It said that I had gotten a 68 percent!
Let's back track a bit though, shall we? When I was taking my midterm, I have to admit that I didn't really study as much as I should have, and as a result I was guessing on a few questions. SO, I didn't expect to do stellar. But I didn't expect to do as bad as I did.
Back to today; I was kinda depressed. But seriously, I think Heavenly father blessed me, because when we were going over the answers, I found six questions that were marked wrong on the scantron, but were the correct answers! So I told my teacher about it, and he corrected those mistakes and it brought me up to an 80 percent. :)

The terrible mistake

We took out our guns
And shot each other in the heart
There's no need to wonder how it happened
We were a disaster from the start.
Our words were soft and inviting at first
But we ended up bringing out the worst in each other
And the sweet nothings turned into a whisper war.
So silent
Violence painted the inaudibility and filled the air with our DESPAIR
Our words cut deep into our skin
Ignorant of the irreparable damage already done
We continued to unravel all the remnants of what we had
Until nothing was left.
The walls of our safe-guarded citadel crumbled away,
Leaving us to tear each other apart.

Sooo, I'm almost done with school, Kyle needs to freakin talk to me so we can finally start our story that we are co-writing....Trying to get new Ideas. Hmmm. Maybe I'll post some of my poems on here. . .